No women ever expects that the man that she loves will ever hurt her or use their hands to do anything but love them, however, from 2009 to the beginning of 2011,Jennifer Burks was in abusive relationship that overwhelmed her life until she was obedient and cried out to God.
She met him in 2009 and at first everything was cool. He was a good-looking, mature young man and actually was one of the nicer men that she dated. The relationship was good at first but then things started to change. He began acting weird and started yelling over her just to talk. Jennifer would ask why are you yelling and ask him to stop but of course it didn’t. In fact it continued to the point that she became used to the yelling and then she stared to get quite. Troubled and pained by this new behavior, Jennifer started to smoke weed, black and mild’s, and even cigarettes to deal with the pain. His behavior changed even more after he joined a lodge.
From there things only got worse. It felt as if she was facing the devil himself. He began to find peace and happiness not with her but with beers and smoking. He would drink 5-12 “211” beers just to cope with the pain he had inside. The first time he hit her, she was about to go out to have dinner with some friends. Out of the blue he punched her in the face as she got ready to leave the house. Like most abusive men he said he was sorry and that he didn’t mean to do it and Jennifer accepted his story and continued the relationship based on the love she had in her heart. She still for some reason saw him as the kind and gentle person that she once fell in love with. Jennifer wanted to believe he would not hit her again but he did. The physical violence continued along with constant arguments and infidelity.
The nights got longer and colder. She could feel the tension and began to have prophesies of what was actually going on in HIS head. It scared her as she had never experienced anything of such accurate magnitude in the past. It all came to a screeching halt one night in 2010. Infuriated by his drinking habits, Jennifer poured out the Vodka he had been drinking and threw the bottle at him. He retaliated by punching her in the face and pushing her into the front entry way wall. It was a tragic situation. She called the cops and they took him to jail.
Although he busted her lip and put a whole in the wall she had mercy on him and bailed him out. Of course he promised to stop drinking but two weeks later he got even drunker and went crazy. That night he threatened to kill her and chased her around their home with a samara sword, off and on for over 11 hours. Jennifer escaped by barricading herself in the bedroom. Feeling lost and alone, she cried out to GOD to save her. She asked GOD why he was putting her through this. What was the reason? As soon as she thought he was sleep, he was back at the door waving the sword under the door. At that point, her sister from California called her. Jennifer was silent on the phone and then hung up. Her sister knowing something was wrong sent a text asking “R U OK?” Fearful and hopeless, she replied “NO!” Her sister then replied “DO YOU WANT TO COME HOME?” she hesitated for a moment and thought about school and work and realized that her LIFE was more important. She replied “YES!” Once she felt that he finally had gone to sleep, she packed her bags and within 8 hours had a one way ticket and was gone for a month.
While in California, she got what she calls a “Soul-Recharge”. This was much needed for her. Before she left, she sung, prayed, and spoke to her heavenly father on the beach. She prayed for many things such as happiness, understanding, strength, forgiveness, love, a new group of friends, and a church she could call HOME. When she returned home things got better for a while.
In 2011 God would answer her payers and send her to a good church and she was lead to Victory World Church. She stared going to VWC even fasted with the church and began to talk to God more again. One of her prayers “God I’m tired and I don’t think I’m supposed to be doing this.”
It was as if she was living a double life trying to convince the devil that he should go to church and experience the happiness that she so much was beginning to feel. It was more of a mission relationship then a love based one. She was trying to fix the wrong in him that kept hurting her.
Total surrender came after a final altercation with her ex in her car where he blames her for making him late for work and starts throwing punches. She runs into the house and he follows. It was a hard choice, but the crossroads of he will be there with her all day and hurt her more, or he can just go to work and be away from her for the day came. The result was just to take him and get away from him.
After that she cried out God. She had been hearing this prayer in her head for many months, but was so afraid of losing him that she didn’t want to pray it. There was almost a sense of intuition long before the reality came. All she could say as she drenched the face towel with tears was: “I’m done, I surrender. God take out anything and everything in my life that prevents me from focusing on you” “I can’t do it anymore…..I’m so tired.”
When she got back home the apartment manager told her that either you both go or he goes. When he returned to their home, So she told him he couldn’t come back and she had the locks changed the next day.
Though the journey has been tough since then, she is still growing in her relationship with her heavenly father. Since then, she has participated with a missions trip to Nicaragua 2011 and silenced the demons to be able to answer GOD’s voice when he called her into leadership to be an example and inspiration to the FUSION KIDZ ministry. She loves the lord and without a doubt, recognizes and appreciates him for hearing her cry….