I took a Courtship Essentials class last year and that’s when I first heard the 1+1=1 thing. And when they talked about the terms ‘emotionally whole’ and becoming a ‘whole person,’ all I could think was “What on earth does that even mean??” And whatever it was I knew I was FAR from it! So after the class I had a much better idea of what it meant but I had buried my pains so deep I didn’t even know where to begin. However, late last year (2011) God began to bring those things up to the surface. I realized that the drinking and partying covered up all the hurt, and once I stopped all those things I was forced to recognize them. I thought that my hurt was a part of my identity and I just had to deal with it. At night, I would just cry myself to sleep for no particular reason. And these were pains from relationships over 5 years old!
Then at a young adult service I heard a sermon called “Break Every Chain” that really touched me. In the sermon, the pastor asked that everyone write down the people we may have a soul tie with. I realized that everything I had written down on that card was an attempt to try to fill a void that only God could fill. I knew I had been healed that night, but honestly I was skeptical. I waited a few weeks just to monitor my emotions, and God revealed some stuff in my heart during that time. I thought it would take YEARRRRRRSSS to undo all of that stuff. I thought I would have to do Ancient Paths, Celebrate Recovery and the whole nine yards before I could even get close!! LOL-not that they’re not great programs! Now I’m so confident and content and I truly believe that I have become emotionally whole and that no situation can throw me off-balance.
I was greeting for Victory World Church a couple of Sundays ago and a girl randomly approached me and asked if she could pray for me. She told me that I had leaned on the Lord and now He is leaning on me, and that He has heard every one of my prayers. She couldn’t even begin to describe everything that God has planned for me. And she said things that only God himself could’ve known. We all know that God exists and is working in our lives but to receive conformation from a stranger is mind-blowing. I cried tears of joy for hours. I’ve only been a part of the leadership for a few months and look at what God has done already. I’m looking forward to GREAT things in 2012.